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Domestic Violence

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National Domestic Violence Hotline website @

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Domestic violence and emotional abuse are defined a behavior used by one person in a relationship to control the other. These behaviors can also include physical abuse where one partner is assaultive or threatens to be assaultive to the other. The participants could be married or not married; living together, separated or dating each other. Domestic violence and emotional abuse does not discriminate regardless of race, sex or lifestyle preference, whether heterosexual or gay, everyone is affected by this crime. Also, Domestic violence and emotional abuse can include parents and siblings as well as other family members depending on the living arrangements; it is a case by case scenario.
If you need immediate help, call 911. You can also contact your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and TTY 1-800-787-3224.



If You Know Someone Who is a Victim of D.V. or Emotional Abuse

Someone you know needs help! As a friend or family member of someone who is currently a victim of domestic violence or verbal abuse, it is very important that you do not fade into the shadows because some say “It is their business”. Most victims of this kind of abuse do not know their options in regard to getting away from the relationship. They tend to not want to bother anyone else with their problems because in their opinion, it is their relationship that they got themselves into. This way of thinking becomes a mental crutch on the victim. Now, I’m not saying that you should rush in and force your ideas, to immediately leave, on the victim. This would be unwise, but if you just take the time to speak with the victim every chance you have when that person is away from the abuser, over time you could make the victim understand that what is being done to them is wrong. Also, you will be giving the victim hope that there is help outside of the relationship that they are in and that there is actually someone willing to help them. So do not give up. You may be their only hope.

Examples of abuse include: examples of abuse

  • Verbal disrespect - No one should be called out of their name. Everyone deserves to be respected.

  • Isolating the partner from family and friends– No one should be kept isolated. Everyone deserves to have a life of their own. It is healthy to be social.

  • Not allowing a partner to obtain a job – No one should be deprived of satisfying their need to support themselves and their family. Everyone deserves to make the choice for themselves (have your independence).

  • Physical violence or the threat of violence (including sexual assault)– No one has the right strike another or threaten to strike another. Everyone has a right to peace and their personal space must be respected. This is just absolutely wrong. There are no exceptions.  

  • Stalking and Intimidation – Everyone has the right to their privacy. Intimidation is not love. It is the need to control a person.

If You Are a Victim

Domestic Violence Hurts EveryoneIf you are a victim, the first thing I want to say to you is that you are not alone. There are people and programs out there that want to help you escape the abuse. Due to your type of situation or similar situations being repeated over and over in the past, you now have no excuse as to why you are not helping yourself. I want you to understand that in my experience, the abuse never stops. No matter how much the abuser says they will change, it is a lie. I have been on call after call, on my job, where the victim repeatedly calls the police in regard to the same exact situation over and over. The only way to find peace is to get away from your abuser.

DV writings on the wallThis is a cycle that only you can change. Once you admit that there is a serious problem and that you need help, seeking it can be easier than you may think. The hardest task for most victims to accomplish is breaking away from the abuser. Once this is accomplished, another difficult task for the victim is to make a pact of never returning to the abuser, remember the abuse will never end. The healing is not as hard as you may think, especially with a strong support system. And, you will be surprised at how every single day being away from your abuser becomes easier and easier. For those of you looking to get your independence back or get peace of mind, yes peace, this will be an even easier task. You will find yourself almost instantly feeling a sense of relief as you no longer have to experience the negative presence of your abuser.

Bruised lady against a wallOn this page, I have provided some guidelines as to what you should do if you are the victim of this crime. I have also provided some resources, including hotlines, where you can obtain more information and help from programs created specifically for your situation.

Kids and Domestic Violence

What You Should Do:

  1. Contact the police as soon as it begins. Your abuser won’t change.

  2. Get away as fast as you can. There are shelters available for people in need.

  3. Prosecute- He/she needs to know that you are not going to allow this to happen to you again.

  4. Obtain a Restraining Order or Order of Protection. They do work.

  5. Find someone you can talk to. For example, your mother, sister, priest/pastor or anyone else you trust.

Man as a victim of Domestic Violence


Here, you will find an extensive amount of information regarding Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse.

National Domestic Violence Hotline - -
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - -
National Network to end Domestic Violence - -